I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
