thus making me awesome and them whores
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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