do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
