If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
