I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
