I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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