oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
