Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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