I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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