i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
