Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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