Buhtt sex?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
