Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
