So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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