i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
