We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
