in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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