I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
