Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
