Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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