If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize