First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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