I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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