Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
