Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
