Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
