Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
