11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
