dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
