i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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