butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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