I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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