North Korea, Best Korea!
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
