Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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