I don't usually arrange sex via text message
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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