please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
