Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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