All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
