so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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