the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Edward fifth and chaser hands
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
