I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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