help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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