how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
