I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
