He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
