love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
