so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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