My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
