One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
