I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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