I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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