I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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