i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
