Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
